The Adventures of GAR man 1: K On!
by Big Johnny Smith
Summary: GAR-man was a mild-mannered teenager, who got picked on. But he found a gun that allowed him to enter fiction. He starts by training in Dragon Ball Z world, but this fic will mainly be about K-On! Not for kids, contains harsh language and sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

THE ADVENTURES OF GAR-MAN!

[Author's note: The adventures of GAR-man will be a long series where GAR-man rapes everything with his Elfen Lied arms and 20 dicks. It is not for children but does have lots of dicks for fun. YAY FUN DICKS.]

THE ADVENTURES OF GAR-MAN 1: K-On!

One day in southern Kentucky, Garrett Garrison was sitting at his computer watching NEEDLESS on one screen and Gurren Lagann on the other. He gazed into Kamina's dead eyes and thought to himself,

"I want to be like Kamina, I want to be GAR as fuck."

Little did Garrett know, he would be "GAR as fuck". Garrett was tired of being pushed around by his parents and the kids at school. So he went to walmart, were he saw a girl he went to school with, he thought to himself, "I wish I could man up, a real man would rape that bitch!". But he wasn't a real man,

yet...

He didn't know if he had foreshadowed enough yet, so he went to sit on the hood of his car in the walmart parking lot. He sat there for like an hour. He was sad. And then after all this, some bullies showed up and kicked him in the face, they said, "You pussy! Why are you such a pussy! Why can't you wear popped collars like us!". They spat on him.

Garrett Garrison was tired of this shit. And then out of nowhere a gun fell from the sky and it looked really cool. Garrett was kind of a bitch, so he decided to shoot himself in the head with it like this was Shin Megami Tensei or something. So he shot himself in the head with the gun.

AND LIKE BLAM!!!!

He was in Dragonball Z land and in the place where they train for like 39949 years in 5 minutes. He said, "I think this gun can make me go into television shows, and other types of fiction that have a strong following on the internet." Garrett started training, and he trained for like 9 years. He was the strongest man ever. He walked out of hyperbole chamber and grabbed mister popo by the dick and said, "YOU MAKE ME A FUCKING UNIFORM THAT SAYS FUCKING GAR-MAN ON IT, YOU PIECE OF SHIT". GAR-MAN was now GAR-MAN. When mister popo was done with the uniform, GAR-MAN put it on.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!"

He grabbed mister popo by his neck, and proceeded to rip mister popo's lips off with his bare hands. He then took off mister popo's shows and beat him to death with them. Mister Popo was on his deathbed, and he asked GAR-man why he did this. GAR-man said,

"Because you took to long with my uniform."

Then Goku, Vegeta, and the rest showed up. He punched a hole in Krillin's chest and ripped out his spine. He then beat android 18 to death with her husband's spine. He then pulled out his dick and started fucking her robot pussy. He noticed it was cold. He didn't give a fuck. GAR-man doesn't have time to think. He also doesn't have time to have sexual endurance, so he pulled his dick out. Jammed it into her ass, and filled her with cum. She was basically like a twinkie. Goku and Vegeta where finally done doing some gay powering up fusion bullshit. They were like super saiyan 8, and fused together. They said, "I'M STRONGER THAN YOUR BITCH ASS. I'M THE FUCKING STRONGEST PERSON ON THIS UNIV-..."

They couldn't finish talking because GAR-man had ran behind them and ripped one of their legs off. He smashed their skull in with the leg, until there was nothing left but blood and pieces of bone. Then, GAR-man stole the dragon balls. GAR-man summoned the dragon, and said to him, "If you don't give me as many wishes as I want, i'm going to destroy everything with my hands, I'll even kill you dragon!"

The dragon was scared, he said, "I'll give you 3 wishes, that is all I can do." GAR-man was pissed but decided to go with it. "FIRST, I want 30 invisible arms growing out of my back like on Elfen Lied." And it was done. "Second, I want 20 dicks, and they stretch like rubber like one piece." It was done. "Third, I want you to fucking die, so no one will ever be as strong as me again." The dragon was about to kill himself, but before he could GAR-man grabbed the dragon balls with his invisible arms,and held him down with the other arms. GAR-man beat Shen-Long to death.

He was done here, so he grabbed his stuff. He wondered where the gun would take him now, so he grabbed it, and pulled a Kurt Cobain.

He woke up in a hallway in Japan.

[Authors Note: It doesn't matter that GAR-man can't speak Japanese because he was actually going to 4kids dubs of these shows.]


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Just sat down with a big cup of coffee, and now it's time to write some fanfic. Have several Ideas I intend to present in this chapter. At this point I have no idea how many chapters GAR-MAN: K-On! will go on. I might end it this chapter if I get bored with it, or it works out to be short and easy. Fuck it. This is the last chapter.

GAR-man had awoken in a long hallway, he wasn't quite sure where he was, but knew it must be Japan because he had seen a few Japanese animes in his time. Suddenly, he noticed a sign on the wall that had some crossed out Japanese writing on it, that was crossed out. (AN: This is a 4kids dub, remember.) Poorly superimposed over the text was, "American Japanland School of Keions!" GAR-man thought to himself, "Where have I heard keions befo," but before he could finish thinking a fat old lady approached him and said, "Young man, what are you doing out of uniform!" At this moment, GAR-man remembered that his uniform (that said "FUCKING GAR-MAN" across the chest, exposed his midriff, and had skin tight leather pants) might not be the most conspicuous outfit on the planet.

"You'll have to borrow a spare one, and put some slippers on inside this school, not because the Japanese culture requires it, but because this is a very esteemed private school!" she said. GAR-man just wanted to snap her neck and rip her feet bones out by the toes, but he needed to be incognito. There would be plenty of time to rape later, and much more attractive women to do it to. He put the uniform on. There was a slight problem though, GAR-man was 8 feet tall, so it fit kinda like that one fan art picture of Saten from NEEDLESS! in Saten from Railgun's uniform. Basically, it just didn't fit very well. She walked GAR-man down a long hallway, up a flight of stairs and down another hallway. They arrived at room 208. They entered the classroom, GAR-man instantly noticed that the class was full of very attractive girls. He noticed one of them seemed to be staring off into the distance like she was mentally challenged or something. He hoped to god he didn't have to sit next to her.

Of course, he ended up sitting next to her. I mean, I wouldn't have used that lame foreshadowing if he wasn't going to. "Hi, my name is Yui! What's yours?" the down syndrome laden whore asked. He responded, "I'm Garrett Garrison, but you can call me GAR-man. Pleased to make your acquaintance." The girl stared at his face for a good 48 seconds, and if this wasn't dubbed by 4kids, you would have heard a loud jiiiiiiiii~. This was it, this girl, although nice and decent looking, had to suffer from some kind of mental inferiority. Suddenly, Yui snapped very loudly and shouted, "I've got it!" Startled GAR-man said, "What is it?" It was at this point that she made a proposition that GAR-man couldn't refuse.

"Me and a few of my friends have this band that plays in the light music club, we're called Hokage Tea-Time (AN: Pun intended). We've been needing a male singer to do back up vocals, and with your giant stature you could also introduce us and act as a mascot! Sawako is going to make you a great outfit, and it'll be a wonderful time. Best of all, we mainly sit around and eat cakes and shit."

Now, GAR-man was awfully GAR, but this didn't mean that he couldn't enjoy cakes and shit, so he had to join. Several hours passed, and it had come to the time after school. GAR-man followed Yui to the club room. As Yui opened the door, he was taken aback by the beautiful women inside the room. First was a girl with long black hair, and giant breasts. He moved her to the top of his rapelist, simply because she looked like a slut. He'd already put Yui at number 2 on his rape list. The other girl there was very fuckable, but didn't stand out as much as the other two. He also saw a shy looking girl in the corner, and remembered that, a cat is fine too. Yui told him their names. And after they all got introduced, they decided to play a song for him. They then played Fuwa Fuwa Time.

"Hmmmmm, that was okay, but let me show you a real song. Step aside." he said, as he got up, finished his piece of cake and approached the equipment. "Just set that stuff down, and step back." They were shocked, as he used his invisible arms like on elfen lied, to pick up all the instruments at once, as well as to man every single part of the drums. He started playing and singing Raining Blood by Slayer all by himself. They were amazed, but were afraid they would be upstaged. They were hatching a plot to kill GAR-man (AN: Like that would actually work amirite?), they had one problem though that they had not considered. Mugi had not been in the room this whole time, and knew nothing of GAR-man or their plan. Because of this, they decided that it was a bad idea and just decided they should ask him to leave politely in a minute, since I don't feel like writing a gunfight or anything.

At that moment, Mugi entered the room. (AN: If you don't like dicks and stuff you should leave now). The second she saw GAR-man, she noticed the bulge in his pants from the 20 dicks stuffed inside. Because of this, she instantly reasoned that he must be black, but she couldn't see it because he was albino. As everyone knows, Mugi is sexually obsessed with black men. If GAR-man would have spoken in slang like, "Sup, Mugi?" she might have orgasmed instantly. However, he didn't. She still couldn't resist, she fell to her knees and crawled over to him. She grabbed him by the waist and begin licking the crotch of his uniform. After a few seconds, he got so hard his pants exploded. "Don't start something you can't finish," he said. Mugi proceeded to lift up the back of her skirt and bent over in front of him on her hands and knees, then she said sexily, "I'll take all of you in~" GAR-man slowly lowered her white panties, and began to enter her femininity. After a few seconds he was chugging away full speed at her vagina like a jackhammer. "In my ass!" Mugi screamed! GAR-man had to oblige her, and he proceeded to force another of his many dicks into her ass. It was very tight and juicy, and pulsed and quivered in excitement as he went about his task. "One for my hands and mouth?" she begged, and GAR-man slid one of his dicks up through her blouse, in-between her tightly bound breasts and finally out of the collar. Between moaning erotically she licked the tip of it and rubbed the back side with her thumb. This all continued on for quite some time, until Mugi came for the first time. After this however, it still continued.

About this time GAR-man noticed his surroundings. To his surprise, the other girls had not ran away scared, but seemed to enjoy watching this spectacle. Their reactions varied. First he noticed Azusa quietly mewing in the corner. He then realized what she was doing. Azusa had her right hand down her skirt, and was gently masturbating shyly. It was so cute he almost lost his composure.

Yui had less shame about this, she was leaning against a wall, almost directly in front of him and Mugi. She had her panties around her ankles and was raucously fingering her twat while watching intently. One hand went down between her legs and manipulated her clit, and her right arm was looped under her right leg, she was using the fingers on it to directly penetrate herself. For some reason, GAR-man liked this shameless display of sexual enjoyment. He realized, that even the mentally challenged have sexual urges.

Mio and Ritsu had started off quietly observing, but at some point their resolves had broken down and they simply cared no longer. They had been hiding a lesbian romance, and they decided as they watched their friends alternatively masturbate, and get fucked by 3 dicks, that now was as good a time as any to come out. Ritsu began ripping Mio's clothes off as she also attempted to remove hers, in the end they were stripped down to nothing but skirts and shoes, and they had began to scissor on top of the table. GAR-man could clearly make out the cake he had been eating previously was now smashed against Mio's sizable ass; her breasts jiggling as she moaned in ecstasy.

At this point, GAR-man decided to include them in the action, excluding Azusa, who he decided would be cuter if she just sat and watched. He picked up Yui with his Elfen Lied arms, and sat her on Mugi's back (who was still pleasuring 1 dick, and taking 2 more). He proceeded to kiss her passionately. Whilst doing this, he ripped open her shirt and began to grope at her (with his real arms), an action she clearly enjoyed as she moaned through his lips. He used another dick to enter her womb. Just like Mugi, she was soft, warm, and tight; her vagina felt like home. Following this, he stole Mio away from Ritsu. Ritsu proceeded to approach Azusa and begin performing cunnilingus on her. Something Azusa didn't seem to mind. He sat Mio down next to the Mugi and Yui tower. As she was only wearing a skirt and shoes little preparation was needed, he ripped off her skirt with his invisible arms. He laid her down on her back and placed a dick between her breasts that were apart to the sides. He commanded her to push them together firmly around his penis. She did as told, and he could tell instantly by her sexual mannerisms that she was a slut and whore of the highest order, and that she had pleased many a man before. Outraged, without warning he jammed a dick up her anus with much force. Even more surprised, he realized that this hadn't hurt her as even her rectum was as wide as an interstate highway. He lost all care for her safety and well being, and using his One Piece dick that could stretch to any shape or length penetrated her through her entire anatomy until his penis reached the back of her lips. The slut she was, she proceeded to begin licking the tip of his penis even after this.

That was all he could take, and suddenly, he came. At the same time Mugi came for the third time, and Yui pulled herself tightly against him in ecstasy. None of this was enough to make that whore Mio cum though, as she had been so used at this point that nothing could appease her. GAR-man wasn't sure as to the the state of Ritsu and Azusa's enjoyment, but assumed that had finished by now.

After this, GAR-man proceeded to put his "FUCKING GAR-MAN" uniform back on. It felt good to be out of that ridiculous school uniform top (He hadn't had pants for a while obviously.), and he decided he had to go. Mugi and the others begged him to stay, saying he had changed their lives that day, but he refused.

"Sorry guys, but you have all been moaning like dying elephants for the past 30 minutes, and I'm sure someone would walk in and arrest me for statutory rape if I stayed. Sayonari."

And with that, he pulled out his magical gun, placed it to his head, and pulled the trigger; and he was gone.


End file.
